In this lifetime I have never been a control person. Clutter has always been my issue. Through working a lot, followed by my mother's death, clearing her house, then helping with her two sisters until their deaths, then totally clearing one sister's home, the clutter in my house grew. I am now rerired and decluttering my house, deciding I choose to keep.
Currently, I’m locking down - everything has to be “just so” - and it’s a LOT. Not great for me, or my family. Thanks for sharing your tips to loosen: it feels hard to do which suggests it’s definitely what I need!
Oohhh my dear I sooooo soooo relate. For me, realizing I'm doing the lock down thing allows me to ask myself - what feels out of control in my life that I'm trying desperately to control.
I can then begin to sort out what I have control over in my life and what I don't. Where do I have a choice that I can actually make. And where do I need to let go. Where can I trust more? What am I really afraid of?
Quite honestly, telling myself to stop obsessing over my home and having it "just so" - just makes me more anxious. BUT, naming what's underneath my behavior is incredibly helpful. I realize my OCD is simply the symptom of a bigger worry in my life.
And when I'm in the midst of a pretty intense control period in my home - I repeat over and over again that I'm safe - as I'm straightening the pillows, picking fuzz off the floor, etc.
Thank you Dorena for your generosity and wisdom! You are so right. There is too much out of my control hence the need to constantly keep on top of my home and space.
By the way, I did try leaving throw rugs in a more casual manner than my usual folded style. Baby steps but I think it’s helping! 🙏🏻💕
that is a huge step! wherever we can create a bit more flow will help energetically. think of it as beach hair - rather than perfectly coiffed hair. :)
My desk is getting so cluttered I can barely see the top of the desk for all the stuff, mostly papers. Some of the papers are notes from classes or exercises or projects to do and I never do them.
How would it feel to let go of the notes about exercises or projects? sometimes when I’ve had a list of projects a long time, I’ll throw out the whole list. I figure if they’re that important then I’ll remember, and I can always put them back on a list :)
That sounds wonderful. It felt like a relief off my back letting the notes exercises, and projects go. I have permission to do do this and can always give myself permission to let it go.
Dorena thanks for making me laugh this morning, (the second card bit - LOL!), I noticed this pattern in myself last week when I became fastidious about everything being in its place, that false sense of control. Great post.
I re-arranged two rooms for the fourth time and now I can say they feel energetically correct. Multiple tries….and now I’m happy it feels the energy is moving.
The place it is not (again) is my bedroom closet. My bedroom also can use some work.
My schedule gets busier and things pile up — just as they are now. It is driving me crazy. Right now my kitchen counters are the most cluttered area and I love my kitchen! You are right! Do you have a “Clutter Be Gone” Educational Oracle Card Deck? 😆 This article is brilliant, short, digestible and to the point. It needs to be seen by millions!
I think kitchens are such a natural place for clutter to build. if you'd like to bring some more feng shui to the conversation, our kitchens are associated with our wealth and finances. you can also look to see what bagua area your kitchen is in, and see what else is associated with your particular kitchen. this can be a clue as to why clutter creeps in this particular area.
ditto for me too. see if you can clear a few things on the kitchen counter with the intention of allowing the energy to flow for the best possible outcome in all situations. and also to be able to see what you need to see -even if it feels scary.
In this lifetime I have never been a control person. Clutter has always been my issue. Through working a lot, followed by my mother's death, clearing her house, then helping with her two sisters until their deaths, then totally clearing one sister's home, the clutter in my house grew. I am now rerired and decluttering my house, deciding I choose to keep.
I love that it's now your turn to focus on your home...and as an extension focusing on what nourishes you. xoxo
Currently, I’m locking down - everything has to be “just so” - and it’s a LOT. Not great for me, or my family. Thanks for sharing your tips to loosen: it feels hard to do which suggests it’s definitely what I need!
Oohhh my dear I sooooo soooo relate. For me, realizing I'm doing the lock down thing allows me to ask myself - what feels out of control in my life that I'm trying desperately to control.
I can then begin to sort out what I have control over in my life and what I don't. Where do I have a choice that I can actually make. And where do I need to let go. Where can I trust more? What am I really afraid of?
Quite honestly, telling myself to stop obsessing over my home and having it "just so" - just makes me more anxious. BUT, naming what's underneath my behavior is incredibly helpful. I realize my OCD is simply the symptom of a bigger worry in my life.
And when I'm in the midst of a pretty intense control period in my home - I repeat over and over again that I'm safe - as I'm straightening the pillows, picking fuzz off the floor, etc.
Thank you Dorena for your generosity and wisdom! You are so right. There is too much out of my control hence the need to constantly keep on top of my home and space.
By the way, I did try leaving throw rugs in a more casual manner than my usual folded style. Baby steps but I think it’s helping! 🙏🏻💕
that is a huge step! wherever we can create a bit more flow will help energetically. think of it as beach hair - rather than perfectly coiffed hair. :)
My desk is getting so cluttered I can barely see the top of the desk for all the stuff, mostly papers. Some of the papers are notes from classes or exercises or projects to do and I never do them.
How would it feel to let go of the notes about exercises or projects? sometimes when I’ve had a list of projects a long time, I’ll throw out the whole list. I figure if they’re that important then I’ll remember, and I can always put them back on a list :)
That sounds wonderful. It felt like a relief off my back letting the notes exercises, and projects go. I have permission to do do this and can always give myself permission to let it go.
100% :)
trust that whatever is important will pop back on the list or into your orbit.
Dorena thanks for making me laugh this morning, (the second card bit - LOL!), I noticed this pattern in myself last week when I became fastidious about everything being in its place, that false sense of control. Great post.
my friend Elizabeth calls it oracle card abuse 😂
🤣
Clutter on workl tops, I feel overwhelmed by it sometimes.
do you notice a pattern of when the clutter gets worse or better?
I re-arranged two rooms for the fourth time and now I can say they feel energetically correct. Multiple tries….and now I’m happy it feels the energy is moving.
The place it is not (again) is my bedroom closet. My bedroom also can use some work.
Fascinating to think clutter or control! 💜💜💜
bedroom closets are tricky for sure. clothes can hold so much emotion. i've had decluttering my pants on my to do list for a year now!
I’ll go back and see what you’ve posted on the closet! 😃
Excellent article. For me, it's all about making sure everything is neat and tidy, and yes, it gets worse when I'm stressed over something.
i totally get that! when my neat and tidy goes into overdrive I know that I'm trying to control something.
My schedule gets busier and things pile up — just as they are now. It is driving me crazy. Right now my kitchen counters are the most cluttered area and I love my kitchen! You are right! Do you have a “Clutter Be Gone” Educational Oracle Card Deck? 😆 This article is brilliant, short, digestible and to the point. It needs to be seen by millions!
glad you enjoyed it! please feel free to share :)
I think kitchens are such a natural place for clutter to build. if you'd like to bring some more feng shui to the conversation, our kitchens are associated with our wealth and finances. you can also look to see what bagua area your kitchen is in, and see what else is associated with your particular kitchen. this can be a clue as to why clutter creeps in this particular area.
Kitchen counter and table has been a dumping ground the last few weeks and lots of things have been going wrong🥴 never though of it before
ditto for me too. see if you can clear a few things on the kitchen counter with the intention of allowing the energy to flow for the best possible outcome in all situations. and also to be able to see what you need to see -even if it feels scary.